Adam Sandler - Joining The Cult Lyrics
[sounds Of Basketball Being Shot Around]
sandler: `hey Man, I`m Joining A Religious Cult.`
allen: `now, That`s Ridiculous.`
sandler: `well, I`m Joining It, So You Gotta Sign Up Too.`
allen: `what Are You Talking About?`
sandler: `hey, Don`t Fuck Me On This, Man, Just Sign Up.`
allen: `no, I`m Not Going To Join A Cult!`
sandler: `i Can`t Believe You`re Pulling This Shit On Me After Monday
night --`
allen: `what?
sandler: `-- I Wanted To Watch Monday Night Football And You Wanted To
watch That Other Show And We Watched Your Show -- I Did That For You!`
allen: `yeah, Well, You Kept Flippin` Back To The Game.`
sandler: `i Wanted To See The Fuckin` Score! Whadda You Gotta Do That`s
so Fucking Importnat You Can`t Join The Religious Cult With Me?`
allen: `well, I Was Gonna Go Sunbathing.`
sandler: `oh, Boy, No No, I Don`t Think You Should Do That. Because This
guy, Russell -- He`s The Leader-guy Of The Cult --`
allen: `-- Yeah --`
sandler: `-- He Was Rambling On During One Of The Speeches About The Sun
being Bad, Like The Beast Can`t Come Out Because The Sun`s Too Bright
and The Sun Hurts His Eyes Or Something -- You Show Up All Sunburned And
that Guy`s Gonna Get Pissed At You And Me!`
allen: `well, I`m Not In The Cult, So I Don`t Have To Worry About
pissing The Leader Guy Off!`
sandler: `look, I`m -- Starting To Believe In Some Of The Stuff The Cult
guy`s Been Saying -- Some Of It Makes A Lot Of Sense!
allen: `well, Good, But I Don`t Want To Join The Cult. We Can Still Hang
out; I Just Won`t Be In It With You.`
sandler: `the Point Is, I`m Not Gonna Have Time To Hang Out With You
because I`m Gonna Be Fuckin` Busy With This Fuckin` Cult!`
allen: `so I`ll Visit On Weekends -- We`ll Work It Out.`
sandler: `no, The Weekends Are Like The Busiest Time -- That`s When We
go To Flea Malls And Fuckin` Malls And Talk People Into Joining, Man!`
allen: `can I Join For Just A Little While? I Told My Dad I`d Go Visit
him In Florida In Three Weeks.`
sandler: `well, Just, We`ll Ask Then, But We Gotta Join Now.`
allen: `what`s The Hurry?`
sandler: `there`s A Girl I Wanna Meet There, What The Fuck`s Your
problem?`
allen: `well, I Mean I Don`t Really Have To Believe In This Stuff, Do
i?`
sandler: `no, No, Just Fuckin` Tell Everybody You Believe In This Shit
-- When They Say The Sun Sucks, Go, `yeah, Fuck The Sun, I Fuckin` Hate
it Too, Long Live The Fuckin` Beast.`
allen: `i Don`t Know, Man. This Is Crazy.`
sandler: `look, They`re Gonna Give You Clothers, A Free Haircut, You`re
gonna Get Food --`
allen: `-- It`s Not Gonna Be One Of Those Weird Haircuts, Is It?`
sandler: `it`s Gonna Be A Haircut, All Right? You Said You Need A
haircut, They`re Gonna Fuckin` Cut Your Hair. You`re Going In, Saving
twelve Bucks, Just Fuckin` Do It!`
allen: `do You Think The Hot Girl Has A Friend For Me?`
sandler: `yeah, Sure, And If She Doesn`t, She`ll Go Out And Recruit One
for You!`
allen: `well, All Right. But, Hey, If I Don`t Like It, I`m Going To
escape, Man.`
sandler: `ok, That`s Up To You.`
`three Weeks Later!`
[chanting Repeatedly] `the Night Time Is The Right Time! The Night Time
is The Right Time!`
sandler: `hey Buddy, Are You Glad You Did This?`
allen: `oh, This Is The Best Thing I Ever Did. Thank You.`
sandler: `you`re Not Mad At Them Making You, Uh, Kill Your Father, Are
you?`
allen: `you Know, It`s Like They Said. It Was The Only Way To Save Him.`
sandler: `you`re A Good Guy.`
allen: `you`re A Better One.`
[chanting Resumes]
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