Afroman - Crazy Rap
Wait A Minute, Man. Hey, Check This Out, Tell It. It Was This Blind Man, Right?
Man, Check This Out- It Was This Blind Man, Right?
Hey. He Walked Past This Fish Market, You Know What I'm Sayin'?
He Was Feelin' His Way Down The Street With This Stick, Right?
He Stopped, He Took A Deep Breath, He Said,
Woooooo, Good Morning, Ladies.
I Tell You What- My Man On The Guitar, Fool On The Drums,
You Like That Shit, Man? Hey, Man, I Got A Gang Of That Shit, Man.
But First, I'ma Start It Off Like This. Hey, Help Me Sing It, Homeboy.)
Everybody Just Crowd Around The Mic, I'll Tell You All These Mutha-fuckin' Jokes.
Colt 45 And Two Zig Zags, Baby That's All We Need.
We Can Go To The Park After Dark, Smoke That Tumbleweed.
Stop And Hit The Bong Like Cheech And Chong, Sell Tapes From Here To Hong Kong.
And As The Marijuana Burns We Can Take Our Turns, Singing Them Dirty Rap Songs
So Roll, Roll, Roll My Joint. Pick Out The Seeds And Stems.
Feelin' High As Hell Flyin' Through Palmdale, Skatin' On Dayton Rims.
If My Tapes And My Cds Just Sell, I Bet My Caddy Will.
So Roll, Roll The '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville.
Well, I Was Standin' On The Corner Sellin' Rap Cds When I Met A Little Girl Named Jan.
Well It Was Just Sundown In A Small White Town. They Call It Eastside Palmdale.
When The Afroman Walked Through The White Land, Houses Went Up For Sale.
We Fucked On The Bed, Fucked On The Flo', Fucked So Long, I Grew A Fuckin' Afro.
I Let Her Ride In My Caddy Cause I Didn't Know Her Daddy Was The Leader Of The Klu Klux Klan.
I Thought To Myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got My Ass Lookin' Like A Zebra!
I Pulled On My Clothes And I Was On My Way, Until Her Daddy Pulled Up In A Chevrolet.
I Ran. I Jumped Out The Back Window, But Her Daddy, He Was Waitin' With A 2 X 4.
Then I Fucked To The Left, Fucked To The Right. She Sucked My Dick 'til The Shit Turned White.
Oh, He Beat Me To The Left, He Beat Me To The Right. The Mutha-fucker Whooped My Ass All Night.
But I Ain't Mad At Her Prejudiced Dad, That's The Best Damn Pussy I Ever Had.
I Got A Bag Of Weed And A Bottle Of Wine. I'm A Fuck That Bitch Just One More Time.
We Can Go To The Park After Dark, Smoke That Tumbleweed.
Colt 45 And Two Zig Zags, Baby That's All We Need.
And As The Marijuana Burns We Can Take Our Turns, Singing Them Dirty Rap Songs
Stop And Hit The Bong Like Cheech And Chong, Sell Tapes From Here To Hong Kong.
So Roll, Roll, Roll My Joint. Pick Out The Seeds And Stems.
Feelin' High As Hell Flyin' Through Palmdale, Skatin' On Dayton Rims.
So Roll, Roll The '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville.
If My Tapes And My Cds Just Don't Sell, I Bet My Caddy Will.
I Took Her To My House, Cause She Was Fine, But She Whipped Out A Dick That Was Bigger Than Mine.
I Met This Lady In Hollywood. She Had Green Hair, But Damn She Looked Good.
I Met This Lady From Japan, Never Made Love With An African.
See, I Met This Lady From Hawaii. Stuck It In Her Ass, And She Said, Aiiiiieeee!
I Fucked Her Once, I Fucked Her Twice. I Ate That Pussy Like Shrimp Fried Rice.
Don't Be Amazed At The Stories I Tell Ya. I Met A Woman In The Heart Of Australia.
Had A Big Butt And Big Titties, Too, So I Hopped In Her Ass Like A Kangaroo.
Lips Was Breakfast, Pussy Was Lunch, Then Her Titties Busted Open With Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's Wife In The State Of Kentucky. She Said, I'll Fry Some Chicken If You Just Fuck Me.
I Came In Her Mouth. It Was A Crisis. I Gave Her My Secret Blend Of Herbs And Spices.
Colt 45 And Two Zig Zags, Baby That's All We Need.
We Can Go To The Park After Dark, Smoke That Tumbleweed.
And As The Marijuana Burns We Can Take Our Turns, Singing Them Dirty Rap Songs
Hey, Wait A Minute Man, Check This Out.
Stop And Hit The Bong Like Cheech And Chong, Sell Tapes From Here To Hong Kong.
I Met Dolly Parton In Tennessee. Her Titties Were Filled With Hennesy.
Met This Lady In Oklahoma; Put That Pussy In A Coma.
That Country Music Nearly Drove Me Crazy, But I Rode That Ass And Said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met This Lady In Michigan; I Can't Wait 'til I Fuck That Bitch Again.
Met A Real Black Girl In South Carolina; Fucked Her 'til She Turned Into A White Albino.
Fucked This Hooker In Iowa. I Fucked Her On Credit, So I Owe Her.
Fucked This Girl, Down In Georgia; Came In Her Mouth. Man, I Thought I Told Ya.
Met This Beautiful Sexy Ho; She Just Ran Cross The Border Of Mexico.
Fine Young Thing, Said Her Name's Maria. I Wrapped Her Up Just Like A Hot Tortilla.
I Wanna Get Married, But I Can't Afford It. I Know I'ma Cry When She Gets Deported.
Colt 45 And Two Zig Zags, Baby That's All We Need.
We Can Go To The Park After Dark, Smoke That Tumbleweed.
And As The Marijuana Burns We Can Take Our Turns, Singing Them Dirty Rap Songs
Stop And Hit The Bong Like Cheech And Chong, Sell Tapes From Here To Hong Kong.
Have You Ever Went Over To A Girl's House To Fuck, But The Pussy Just Ain't No Good? (say What?)
And Then You're Getting' Upset Cause You Can't Get Her Wet, Plus You In The Wrong Neighborhood?
So You Try To Play It Off And Eat The Pussy, But It Takes Her So Long To Come (say What?)
So You Wipe Your Mouth, And You Try To Explain (i Don't Bang.), You Start Talkin' Real Fast.
Then A Dude Walks In. That's Her Big Boyfriend, And He Asks You Where You From? (where You From, Man?)
But He's Already Mad, Cause You Fuckin' His Wife, So He Starts Beatin' On Your Ass.
Now Your Clothes All Muddy, Your Nose All Bloody, Your Dick Was Hard But Now It's Soft. (whut?)
You Thought You Had A Girl To Rock Your World, Now You Still Gotta Go Jack Off.
Colt 45 And Two Zig Zags, Baby That's All We Need.
We Can Go To The Park After Dark, Smoke That Tumbleweed.
[fade Out
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